Lady : So, you want to become my son-in-law? Boy: Not really, but I don't see any other way 2 marry ur daughter!
"I hear that you drop some money in Stocks. Were you a bull or a bear?" "Neither, just a plain simple ass."
A lady delivered twins. Suprisingly one is a boy and another is a dog how it is possible? Bcoz her husband is HUTCH DEALER.... wherever u go out network follows
Dream makes al things possible, Hope makes al things work, luv makes al thigs beutifl, smile makes al d abv so always BRUSH UR TEETH...!
Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: why three? Husband: 4 u and ur parents.
A police recruit was asked during exam, "What would u do if u had to arrest ur own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."
A baby monkey asks his father, Father why r we so ugly? The father says to him, don't stress my son u should see the one who is reading this!!
Her Job & My Job Her Job is to Bitch! Mine is to give her a Reason!
What do u call a woman in heaven? An Angel. A crowd of woman in heaven? A host of Angels. And all woman in heaven? PEACE ON EARTH!
Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller? Tommy: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.
Sign post outside our collage- "Drive Carefully! Dont kill the Students, Wait for the Lecturers!".
A small kid wrote to Santa Clause, "send me a brother". santa wrote back, "send me ur mother".
Scientists all over the world r wondering how long a human being can live without a brain... Kindly tell them ur age...
What happened 2 ur network? I tried 2 call u but the operator said "Welcome 2 the jungle, the monkey u r trying to call is on the tree....Plz try later."
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
God thought that since he couldn't b everywhere he made a mother. Then devil thought that he couldn't b everywhere he made a mother-in-law.
Why couldn't the apple send an e-mail to the orange? Because the lime was engaged.
A good friend is like a computer I 'enter' ur life, 'save' u in my heart, 'format' ur problems, 'shift' u 2 opportunities & never 'delete' u from my memory!
sorry 4 disturb u. can u fax me ur photo, its very urgent, serious matter has comeup actually, we r playing a cards and I lost the joker
Q:) What does a buffalo produce during an EarthQuake? A:) MilkShake
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes, dear I know, but I was in love and didn't notice."
Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? Sam: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
When in life, you wake up n you don't see anyone, then come to me. I will be there to take you to an eye specialist!
When in life, you wake up n you don't see anyone, then come to me. I will be there to take you to an eye specialist!
r mosquitoes religious? Yes They first sing over u & then prey on you
What is a difference between a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey? A kiss is so dear, a car is too dear and a monkey is U dear.
Luk at the world as 1 big chocolate cake. It would never b complete without few sweets n nuts. Sweet like ME & nut like U
Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.
Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter? A: I butter not tell you, It might spread!!
Cute… Good looking… Easy to handle… Cool… Sexy… Nice structure… Its my mobile. How about your?
What is the height of Bravery, Patience & Laziness combined? A: Sitting on the sea shore waiting for TSUNAMI to clean up ur ASS
Will, Marry, I & U are going for a party. Whats the best & worst arrangement u can make. Did u get... Best: Will, U, Marry, Me Worst: I, Will, Marry, U
Dream makes al things possible, Hope makes al things work, luv makes al thigs beutifl, smile makes al d abv so always BRUSH UR TEETH...!
Boy: what will u give me as reward if i climb Mt.Everest? Girl: A push.
Sincere Apology:
If u dont like ny of my SMS or dont like 2 read or if my msgs disturb u,then plz dont hesitate,feel free 2 Throw Ur Mobile!!
If u dont like ny of my SMS or dont like 2 read or if my msgs disturb u,then plz dont hesitate,feel free 2 Throw Ur Mobile!!
Sweet fruits r nice 2 eat.. Sweet words r nice 2 say.. But sweet people r really hard 2 find..My goodness, how da hell did u manage 2 find me!
Advice
Always listen to ur hubby, He gives sound advice :99% Sound & 1% Advice....
Always listen to ur hubby, He gives sound advice :99% Sound & 1% Advice....
Consequences of American life style:
The wife rushed into house screaming 2 her husband, Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids
The wife rushed into house screaming 2 her husband, Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids
Their are moments in life when you really miss someone. And you wish you could just pluck them from your dreams..
Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.
Woman: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!
A sardar falls in luv wit a nurse.. After much thinking, he finally writes a luv letter 2 her: "I LUV U SISTER"
The Japanese have produced a camera that has such a fast shutter speed it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut!
This is not fair! How could u do this? Didn't expect this from you! Got a whole Channel on ur name and didn't even tell me? Animal Planet!
Phonebook Dilemma Why r there no phone books in China? Coz there r so many Wing's and Wong's, they r afraid u will Wing the Wong number.
If u read dis, I'm SMART. If u save dis, you agree dat I'm SMART. If u fwd dis, u r spreading dat I'm SMARt & if u delete dis, u r jealous coz I'm SMART
3 Guys were introduced to a girl. Hi, I’m Peter, not a saint. I’m Paul not a POPE. I’m John not a Baptist. The girl replied. Hi... I’m Mary, not a VIRGIN.
Consequences of American life style: The wife rushed into house screaming to her husband: Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids.
Hubby: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle. Wife: Yes darling I still do, only difference is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltr.
Q:- what do u get when u cross a librarian and a lawyer? A:- "All the information you want, except you can't understand it."
Q:) Why do Gods stay up in heaven? A:) Because they are afraid of what they have created!
Funny Answering Machine Messages Please leave a message However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
They say Love is in the air... shit if only I had a plane right now!
Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and you're going to want to shoot it.
Seeking luv iz a mission... finding luv iz a complexed ambition... so y not go wiv the asian tradition, and let the parentz make the decision...
Regular Naps Prevent Old Age... Especially If You Take Them While Driving!
Think Well Work Well Eat Well Sleep Well Play Well and also put ur Mobile inside the same well Because you r not messageing me... well
Some Love Golden-Ship, Some Love Silver-Ship, But I Love One Ship, That Is Your Friend-Ship
Based on Newton's 1st Law: Law of love Love neither be created nor be destroyed, only it can be changed frm one girlfriend to another girlfriend.
I know you think I'm cute, I know you think I'm fine, but like the other guys take a number and wait in line!!
What is a difference between a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey? A kiss is so dear, a car is too dear and a monkey is U dear.
Why r Women are like the stock market... Coz they're irrational n can bankrupt u if u're not careful.
r mosquitoes religious? YES They first sing over u & then prey on you
wen tings go rong, wen tears flow 4rm ur eyes, wen sadness fills ur heart, plz inform me-coz my frnd sells tissues BUY ONE GET ONE FREE
Remove your Shirt, Remove your Pants too, ahhhh uhhhhh remove ur kurti now ahhh.... Finally the suitcase is closed.
Birds love u, Giraffe love u, Goat love u, Elephant love u, Go to zoo, They all miss u.
I want U 2 know dat our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry I cry, U Lauf I Lauf, U Jump out of da window... I look down & den.. I lauf again
Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Every 1 can c it but only U can feel its true Warmth, Thank U 4 being the pee in my pants..
Wht's d similarity between a girl & petrol? 1. both r explosive 2. both r hot 3. both r dangerous when kept in open
Eyes: To look at you Hands: To pray for you Mind: To care for u Heart: To love you and Legs: To kick u if u forget me.
The big tomato said 2 the slow little tomato: ketch up!!
A group of elephants were sitting on the street. A sexy female elephant passes by... What does the loafer elephant say? Wow... 3600-2400-3600
What's it called when a woman is paralysed from the waist down? Marriage.
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